


I'm in your arms (i'm still right here)

by alloftherandomness



Category: Supergirl (TV 2015)
Genre: Angst, Drowning, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, F/F, Nightmares, Post 2x19
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-08-08
Updated: 2017-08-08
Packaged: 2018-12-12 06:09:30
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,470
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11731083
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/alloftherandomness/pseuds/alloftherandomness
Summary: For Alex nightmares have been a thing ever since she was a teenager and lost her father. Since starting to work at the DEO it wasn't like all of the things she's seen have been easy to deal with. Alex has always worked through them, pushed past them like the soldier that in reality she was.





	I'm in your arms (i'm still right here)

**Author's Note:**

> I have been having a tough time of things lately and nightmares have always been a part of my life. My life is easy compared to Alex's and it occurred to me that they never touch on just what she has gone through. This is my brains way of bringing that up.

Alex was used to nightmares, with the life she's lived that fact wouldn't be a surprise to anyone. This meant she was good at dealing with trauma and this time would be no different.

She had survived worse than Rick Malverne and she wouldn't let him get the better of her.

Waking up at the DEO she knew she had been having a nightmare about her time in the tank. This time she couldn't remember much but if past experience was anything to go by next time wouldn't be so easy.

Seeing Maggie standing by her bed was a funny feeling, and her heart was suddenly gripped in so many different emotions.

A part of her was so very grateful that Maggie was here when she woke up, that she had been there working to save her. Another part, much smaller but equally loud was saddened that Maggie had been put through all of this because of her, that Maggie had suffered because she had pulled her close. Most of the rest of her was awash with affection thinking of all the moments they had shared, and how many they would share in the future.

Maggie was by her side with a few words and Alex's first instinct was to make sure Maggie was okay and Maggie's instinct was the same. Her girlfriend was looking at her teary eyed and she felt herself starting to cry.

Alex sat up and Maggie's hand shot out in concern for Alex not to exert herself but she needed to say this. Finally after thinking it so many times and fearing in that tank that she'd never have the chance to say it but now feelings and words came tumbling out.

She had finally said those wonderful three words to Maggie out loud and the best part is Maggie said them back.

Alex needed to get out of bed and walk around, med bay reminded her of too many bad memories and the sooner she was out of there the better. So Maggie led her out of there and they made their way towards the command center and her friends.

Basking in the normalcy and the fact she was okay, talking with Kara and Winn and J'onn was starting to gloss over what she had been through. Then an agent walked by with Rick and the bubble was popped.

Punching Rick was something she would usually judge herself for but right now all it felt was good and in a situation like this, any little thing helps.

Stumbling a little through the door to her apartment with Maggie by her side should feel like home, and it does a little, but gone is that profound sense of safety that she felt before this.

Going through the motions of getting ready for bed with Maggie does give back a little of that hope that everything will be okay and that the sleeping pills the DEO gave her will make her sleep dreamless.

It was a false hope.

Alex wakes up with her face resting on cold concrete, harsh light illuminating that horrifying glass cage she was in.

She gets up and wonders what she is in for, what her mind will make her go through this time around.

Pounding on the glass is futile just like when this was real, there is no use to going through the motions when this is nothing but her mind working her past this.

This time there is no talk with Kara or Maggie, no reassuring words and assurances she will be saved.

There is however the water rushing in and it is just a cold as she remembers it and a part of her questions for a moment if this is really in her head.

Alex panics and struggles but the water still rises and this time there is no Supergirl to save her, no Maggie to cradle her in strong arms and affirm that she is alive.

She startles awake in her own bed with a scream and instantly feels Maggie's arms hold her tight, her words of reassurance that she is safe, that the man who did this is gone and can no longer hurt her. 

Alex settles into her girlfriend, breathing slowing back down and adrenaline in her veins leaving. Maggie is there and even though the sun hasn't peeked above the horizon yet Alex has no intention of trying to sleep more.

Her and Maggie start their day early despite the fact neither have work as Maggie asked for leave to be with Alex and J'onn would never let her back to the DEO right now.

So they spend a lazy day on the couch in their softest PJ's watching some show neither of them is really paying attention to until late afternoon when Kara shows up at her door and Maggie is letting her in.

Kara brought donuts and Chinese food and even more pot stickers than usual. They make small talk and eat and Alex is just grateful she has this, that Kara will always be there and now Maggie is a constantly reassuring presence.

Kara stays longer than usual and nobody talks about the reason why but Alex is just trying to put off sleep as long as possible. Long after the sun has set and most people in the city are asleep Alex is still awake in bed, wrapped up in Maggie hoping that this time is a little better.

Alex vaguely wonders how many times during the night she goes through this nightmare, as a scientist she knows you don't remember most of your dreams but the ones she does, what sets them apart.

Again waking on cold concrete Alex just feels tired. What could the point of her mind putting her through this again?

The water rushes in but this time it is it so much faster than before. Relentless torrents of water rush into her cage and this time it gives Alex very little time to contemplate why this feels so real.

Another scream and she is back in her bed, process of realizing it was a nightmare and being comforted repeated and Alex settles down again.

Today Alex insists on getting out of the apartment so Maggie and her make their way to Noonan's for lunch, a little bit of normalcy to pull herself back together.

They run into James who is picking up his own coffee because his assistant is having a sick day and they sit down and chat for a little before he politely excuses himself and they continue on.

Feeling a little better from going outside and getting fresh air they settle in for a late dinner. They are trying to decide what to order when they hear a knock at the door and Kara is there again, this time with pizza.

Still nobody really talks about the fact that Kara is here because she is worried about Alex, or that she probably knows Alex is having nightmares.

Kara knew when Alex was having a bad day, even when them being sisters was new and Kara was the one who most needed comfort.

After Kara leaves Maggie is having a shower and Alex would usually join her but hearing the water rushing is putting her on edge and all she does is smile weakly at her girlfriend when she comes out in a towel and feel guilty.

Maggie pulls Alex into bed and holds her tight and maybe sleep comes just a bit easier tonight.

Alex may just be deluding herself but maybe her sense are dulling because the concrete doesn't feel as cold this time, the lights don't seem as bright as they were.

The water still rushes in and the glass still proves just as unbreakable as before.

This time though something different happens, the garage style door opens up and Kara and Maggie rush through and make their way to the glass.

Alex actually lets herself hope that this nightmare wont end like the rest and that she won't be pulled under.

Her hopes are dashed as Kara bashes her fist against the glass and it doesn't even crack. Maggie joins in and starts pounding on the glass and the last thing Alex sees before jerking awake is Supergirl and Maggie's faces contorting in horror as they can't break her free.

Waking with a start the now ritual of the morning commences and Alex takes breath after breath in slowly and braces to begin the day.

Despite the fact that she knows she looks bad enough that even without mind reading J'onn wont left her back in the field she will try to angle for lab time.

Taking Maggie along with her to the DEO because she still doesn't want to be alone right now Alex manages to talk J'onn into a little bit of lab work but to her irritation not a full day.

Going home is not really what Alex wanted right now but she took what she was given and after hours in the lab with Maggie helping her she feels the pieces of herself slowly start to come back together.

The next few days and nights sort of blur together as Alex settle into a new rhythm in the lab and Kara coming over each night and the nightmares start to become less vivid.

Alex still wakes with a scream and Maggie is still there to wrap her up in her arms and whisper comfort but this time the nightmare fades a little quicker.

Both Maggie and her get ready for the day but today is different, Maggie needs to get back to normal too so she is going back to work and at that thought Alex's heart constricts a little.

To get past this everything needs to move forward and Alex knows she can't keep Maggie home forever but it was nice while it lasted.

Alex's day at the DEO goes smoother and when J'onn stops by her work station to check up on her he seems less tense and that makes Alex hope she will be able to return to field duty soon.

Kara also stops by and suggests to Alex that maybe they could do game night sometime this week, maybe even at her place if she's up to it.

Alex thinks it over and maybe some silly fun and a couple of drinks with friends is just what she needs. She tells Kara to see when everybody is available and that makes a joke that she'll host only if Kara pays for the food and laughs when Kara pouts.

Maggie comes home late and even though she got a text from her that doesn't stop Alex from rushing to her the second the door opens and pulling her into crushing hug.

Kara sends a text that she won't make it tonight because there was a big pileup on the highway and she'll be pretty busy with the cleanup. 

Alex takes the last of the sleeping pills the DEO gave her and climbs into bed with Maggie and for once quickly falls a sleep.

Alex wakes up with the now familiar press of cold concrete on her cheek but something feels off this time. She pushes herself off the ground and starts to look around and can't tell what is wrong at first, the glass is still there and so are the lights.

Her heart drops when she realizes this night is nothing like the others, she know this because she is on the wrong side of the glass and in her place are Maggie and Kara.

They both start to wake up and Alex see the panic in their eyes when they realize they are trapped. If this were real Kara would be able to use her strength to easily break the glass but no matter how hard she punches it just won't give.

Alex has to watch as water starts to pour in and the scene feels both like an eternity and seems to go blindingly fast as she watches the two most important people in her life struggle with the rising water. She tries to look away from the horrifying scene but her mind won't let her, Alex knows it won't stop until she watches them like they watched her.

She wakes up and instead of a scream all that comes out is body shaking sobs and Maggie is holding her as tight as possible. Alex know it was just a nightmare, Maggie is right here so it was just her brain lying to her but the scene is still so vivid.

She usually doesn't talk about the content of her nightmares because Maggie is pretty sure what they are about and Alex really doesn't want to make them real. This time she tells Maggie through sobs and slowly the nightmare loses its sharpness and Alex feels she can breathe again.

Maggie insists on staying with her today but Alex tells her she needs to keep her job, they need to keep moving forward if they want to put the past behind them. Maggie reluctantly leaves with a kiss goodbye and a firm hug and the reassurance that Alex is going to be okay.

Strangely despite the heaviness of the nightmare still weighing on her the day goes by quite fast. Alex is waiting to feel the falling feeling but it never quite come, just the sense of being close to the edge.

Alex makes her way home and is surprised when she opens the door and Maggie and the rest of the gang are crowded around the coffee table in heavy debate about something.

They turn to her and she feels weird being welcomed into her own home but it feels good to have them all here. She gets hugs from everybody and settles as Maggie grabs her a beer and sits down next to her.

Game night goes off mostly without a hitch with only a little arguing and some truly back smack-talk from Winn and Alex is surprised that after a few beers she doesn't feel the need to drink more.

The gang leaves and Maggie is cautious but Alex pulls her into a hug and she melts into the feeling of her. Maggie had apparently told Kara about Alex's nightmare and Kara immediately brought up game night and Alex feels like opening up was a good thing.

She might not be completely over what Rick did to her or honestly any of the other things that have happened to her but as long as she has Maggie and Kara and the rest of the people in her life she feels she can take on the world.

The world could throw anything at her but she is Alex Danvers and she will always get through anything.

**Author's Note:**

> I'm not sure what dark corner of my mind this came from but it seems to have helped and maybe me voicing it can help someone else. If anyone is having a tough time lately I wish you well and hope for the best.


End file.
